Parenting is Hard and Makes No Sense

We all know this right?

Let me tell you about our most recent example of how this played out at our house...

Many of our friends and family may know that Tessa has always been quite the picky dresser. She has also been a bit of a "spirited" child. (I just love that term - it sounds so fun! It's not so much...most of the time.)

A little background...

From the time she was 2 until about 2 months ago, Tessa has worn jeans by choice approximately zero times. Uncomfortable, and probably more importantly in her mind, unstylish, Tessa would NOT wear them for anything. No bribe would work. Tears, wailing, and gnashing of teeth ensued any time the topic was broached. It quickly became a battle just not worth fighting.

On another note, occasionally, spirited little Tessa would have a particularly chatty day at Pre-K or Kindergarden. Nothing serious, but enough for the teacher to bring it up at pick-up time or move down a color on the color chart. This never bothered Tessa and didn't really do much to deter her the next day.

Enter the infamous "Jean Punishment." This was a brilliant idea that worked almost without fail. In the course of our 10 years of parenting, we have tried countless ways to get our kids motivated to do what we want - sticker charts, chore charts, work punishments, time-outs - you name it we tried it. This was the simplest and the one with the most success. If behavior was an issue at school, Tessa wore jeans the next day at school. Every time and it worked. The following days were so much better!

Now, you may ask how we got her to actually put the jeans on since they were so terrible. I have no idea. It defies logic. I have no idea why, when it was a punishment, she would willingly put them on without an argument, a tear or even an ounce of hesitation. But, thankfully, she did. And, it worked. Her kindergarden teacher kind of thought we had achieved expert parenting status. In reality? We were just lucky. Something worked and it stuck. For a while anyway and then it stopped working and we started trying new things all over again.

Anyway, that was all just backstory to what happened tonight. And, why parenting is just such a wild card and just hard.

About 2 months ago, Tessa decided jeans were not so bad. Little by little, she sweet talked her dad into a handful of pairs. On our last trip to Ohio, she only packed jeans. That's it.

And, now tonight, we had tears about jeans again. She has no clean jeans for school tomorrow. The horror. How ironic right? My how things have changed! (And, now I'm getting flashes of what is in store during our junior high and high school days.)

Interestingly enough, she has four pair of dirty jeans on her bedroom floor. I did laundry today. I tried to logically explain to her, through her tears, that if she had simply put those jeans down the laundry chute, they would have magically been clean by tomorrow morning. Somehow, that logic didn't seem to help and just made the tears fall faster and louder.

Parenting is hard. Consistency is key until it doesn't work anymore. Kids love things until they hate them and vice versa. Logic is hard to communicate and is mostly lost on them. So is irony. (Sarcasm may fall in that category for some families, but not ours. It's so common in our house that they picked up on that real quick.)

All we can do is keep trying until something sticks and try again when that doesn't work anymore either. And, we have to hope that our unconditional love sticks most of all. Because even though they're not easy to figure out and they may do things that drive us batty, we wouldn't have it any other way.

Race Recap - Indy Mini 2015

Another Mini has come and gone! Actually, it's been gone quite a long time. It's been almost 2 months so I remember very little. But, I must post so I can move on with life...

I remember very little of the race other than the last few miles, which is the opposite of normal. I held a very steady pace of a little better than 8:20 through the race which was exactly where I needed to be to break 1:50. I told myself I could speed up at mile 10 if I still had anything left. I didn't. My last three miles slowed to an 8:32 pace.

Even though my average pace (8:21) should have earned a PR and under 1:50, the course was longer that 13.1 miles which it always seems to be. I thought I had accounted for this in my calculations, but I had used 13.2 and it was actually 13.25 or something. Crazy how that makes a difference! But, when you're only 30-some seconds from your goal, every tenth makes a difference.

It doesn't really matter because I had no juice left in the tank anyway! It sure seemed to get hot during those last few miles too which I'm sure didn't help! And, once again, that last mile was an eternity!

It was a course record for me and only 8 seconds (8 seconds?!?!) from a PR. Surely I had that in me?! Either way, I'll have another go at it.

I will say that all of my strength training totally paid off. My legs were fresh as a daisy during the entire run and soreness was virtually non-existent after the race. That alone is worth it all!

And now for some photos...

The day before the race, I sat with Estrella in the waiting room at Riley while her son, Koby, was undergoing open heart surgery. Koby is the most recent Gift of Life child to receive heart surgery as part of the program.

Gram and Pop arrived in time to see Tessa's art in the county-wide Art Show. 

And, then, our annual pasta dinner! Complete with mom's Bison Meatballs!

New shirt for the big day! And new Gu packs. The vanilla is yummy. The coffee (cappuccino? mocha?) flavored one at mile 10? Not so much. Gross...

The day was beautiful!

And, at the finish!

Mom and dad...

Where was our selfie stick when we needed it?!

And, couldn't miss the Indy sign. Dad makes a nice, tall "I."

We wrapped up the day with lunch at a new place in Greenfield. 

So happy this is part of our May tradition now! A great way to kick off summer!

Moment in Time...Captured

Every once in a while, I get in a panic and worry that I will forget all of the little things that happen in our daily lives as the kids grow up. That panic has set in recently, so here are the memories of this sunny, yet cool, day in May.

JACK

We had a Mother's Day event at Timber Run today. Toward the end of the afternoon, Jack climbed up on a stool, turned around and jumped off. This is not something he would usually do. Did he land on his feet? Nope. His knees? Nope. He landed smack on his forehead. Much crying and a cold compress later, all that remains is a big strawberry.

TESSA

At the same event, there was a word scramble filled with words used to describe mothers. Tom was helping Tessa and asked her what were some words she would use to describe me to see if any were obvious on the scramble. First word that came to mind? Bossy. Amazingly, not on the list. She thought for a while and then said "Well, she does a lot of laundry. Is that one of them?" Also, not on the list. Apparently, our last bout of putting away laundry may have been a bit tenuous.

JOSIE

As second grade comes to a close, Josie's spelling words are getting much more difficult. I am not kidding when I say that I struggle with spelling, and even pronouncing, some of them. In fact, I can't even define a handful of them. I'm glad she's being stretched but man, I'm thankful for spell check!

Last week's list:

incident
avarice
moderation
score
nimbly
poised
derisively
lea
jutting
indignant

This week's list:

dully 

glinting 

exhaustive

dabbed 

rubbish  

proprietor

pleasantries

acquiring

crockery 

briskly 

Random Thoughts & Photo Dump

Man, it's been a while. I blame the never ending winter. Who gets snow the week of Easter?!?! Especially, when Easter falls mid-April?!?!

Enough of that...

Random thoughts on this random Thursday...

The girls like stealing my phone and doctoring photos with A Beautiful Mess. They're pretty cute and sweet on their brother.

Jack is also a fan of stealing my phone. Usually for Subway Surfer but this time I got him to take a selfie.

Josie is such a reader just like I was. Now, I tend to get stuck playing mindless games on phone like 2048. Every once in a while, I force myself to read instead. I love curling up on our sectional in the hearth room and reading. Josie apparently does too.

She picked out a real winner at the library last week - an Italian Dictionary. 

I was in a goofy mood this morning on my way into work. I like those moods. They don't come around often and they don't tend to stick around either, especially on office days. I probably should have gone and done something creative but instead I sat at my desk and filled out condo questionnaires and other random paperwork.

We checked out an architectural salvage company this weekend. Wow was this place cool. Tons of neat stuff for a home. And, a Spiderman statue. Too bad it was sold.

I'm feeling very (very) iffy about the upcoming Indy Mini. I was sick last week with a cold and didn't run at all. Now, I can't keep up a good pace and everything hurts from my knees down. I haven't been very consistent with my mileage this cycle and I think it's catching up to me.

Also, I've given myself a pass on one part of my running goal this year. My thought was that if I hit under 1:50 in a half, I would train for another marathon. I decided this week that I may be sabotaging myself with hitting that time because I really don't want to train for another marathon. So, new goal... if I can hit a sub-1:50, I can quit running. (I'm in a "I hate running" season right now. It will pass.)

The "Marathon Man" we saw during the October race reached his goal of running the most marathons in one year. I can't remember how many but it was a lot. I'll bet his knees hurt worse than mine.

I'm signing Jack up for preschool which makes me tear up a bit. He saw the brochure and thought it was hilarious that Santa comes to preschool.

I decided on Friday that I wanted to make bows for the girls to match their soccer uniforms. I got this one done - beginner's luck because now I can't seem to make any more without really screwing it up.

We "planted" a "garden" this year. Use of the double quotes is needed because it was a little more like sticking seeds randomly into some dirt. Our plot is where an old, dead pine tree used to be. I used a yard rake to churn it up a bit and then let Tessa stick some seeds in haphazardly. I'm pretty sure you won't find those instructions on any gardening blog.

I want so badly to be the type of household that has a bountiful harvest every summer and fall - so many zucchini that you have to put it in everything. Well, we didn't even plant zucchini. We have lettuce, spinach, red peppers, jalepeno peppers, cucumbers, tomatoes, basil, and spearmint along with some sunflowers and sweet peas for Tessa. My best guess? We'll scrounge up one or two cucumbers.

The 100 Acres at the IMA is really cool. Tom was a little less than impressed on Saturday when we took the kids out to enjoy the 70 degree day. But, I still say it's cool.

Promptly after "planting" a "garden," and frolicking around in the outdoors, it snowed.

We got a call on Saturday asking if we wanted tickets for all five of us to go to the Pacers game. In a suite. Uh... yes please! The kids were totally spoiled for their first professional sporting event! They loved it though.

We've done a lot of spring cleaning this spring, including the guest room and the garage. The garage could already use it again.

The kids are loving the ability to play outside. Everyday they beg. And, Josie finally got up the guts to take off the training wheels on her bike. Her favorite thing to do is ride around the loop in front of our house. I have a sneaking suspicion that Tessa won't be far behind.

Soccer's been a big hit this season too. Josie is figuring out to be a great defender. Tessa finally decided on her own that she wanted to play. Moms of younger kids - I learned an important lesson. It is best to wait until kids are willing to play on their own accord. Tessa's a real go-getter this year! Attacks the ball and wants to be in the action. Better than the field crying she did the last time she played.

I heard a really great speaker at MOPS this week on Discipline - Marianne Miller - website here. She made it sound so easy. I have really been trying hard to implement her strategies this week but find myself saying her big no-no's, like, "Stop crying" and "if you ______, I'll give you _______" and "you'd better do ________ or else _________." Baby steps right? Most importantly, I remember that she talked about how God made each of our children exactly the way they are for a reason. That helps when Jack is screaming and stomping because I won't let him eat his fourth piece of Easter candy. Or, when I start to win at Candy Land.

I just looked through an old photo album of me when I was a kid. I can't believe how much I see Josie and Jack in those pictures. Tessa? Not so much.

Every once in a while, these two get really photogenic.

Other times, I get this.

I forgot how much 3 year olds love egg hunts. He thought it was awesome.

Told you it was random. Until the next random update...

What 6 & 7 Year Old Girls Do When Bored...

It seems as if I'm always walking around picking up random pieces of paper with a few scribbles or doodles. Recently, I saved back a few because I realized it is a phase of their life that I wanted to capture. Usually Tessa is the one who draws, but she's getting into writing too. Josie hardly ever draws and has taken to writing as well.

Here are some samples from their most recent portfolios!

The first few are from Josie. I can't remember what these types of things are called. But, yes, yelling is actually fairly common in our household. It's not always bad, but the general noise level is usually pretty high.

I love the "Supersmart" and "Supernice." 

I found this in our office after they had left and never did get a chance to ask Josie what it all meant. Interesting to say the least. 

This is a favorite of mine that Tessa brought home from school after Veteran's Day.

Tessa wrote me this note in the car on the way home from Ohio. She thanked me BEFORE I helped her with her project. Smart little girl. :)

These are my favorites. Tom and I found these in our office after the girls had been there playing. Apparently, they were playing New Home Salesperson. :)

Perfect Weekend at Home!

Another fun weekend at home! This really doesn't happen very often and it is even more rare that we actually stay home. (Last one was Memorial Day and it was memorable enough to blog about too!) The thought crossed my mind to hit Conner Prairie today, but was overruled by sticking around home and I am happy we did. Here's a rundown!

Friday was my day out of the office this week. I have worked hard to only work three days a week this summer, but since we just returned from vacation, I worked four this week. On my day off, we hit the library, Walmart and just hung out around the house. The kids did a little bike riding too. Jack is really getting the hang of riding his bike.

I ran Friday night once Tom came home. I decided to run hill repeats to add in some variety. I signed up for the October Indianapolis Marathon (more running posts to come) and it is a hilly one. Maybe if I do hills specifically once a week, I'll be prepared. 

Tom ran out for dinner fixings and I hit the back porch with a glass of wine and Runner's World. This was a perfect way to end quite a stressful and busy week!

Somewhere along the way, Josie lost her second front tooth! She lost the first one a few days ago and then the second one started looking really bad. It was almost totally sideways! It finally came out after days of wiggling. You can tell she's having a really hard time talking with them gone!

Here is the progression of tooth photos!

Saturday morning, the girls had their second gymnastics' camp. They have a fun time going to these but have to be convinced to actually go. Tom, Jack and I hit up the Sweet Shop for donuts and took them north to the Beckenholdt Park. This place is truly a hidden gem and I always forget about it. I need to go up there to run someday. Jack had a great time being an only child and was very cuddly! He also stopped to pose for a few photos. We need to take the "good" camera up there with the close up lens one of these days.

Then, we took Jack to his favorite store, Home Depot. We gathered supplies for our weekend projects and then picked up the girls. The rest of the day consisted of lots of projects, snow cones for the kids and a two hour nap for me! Tom worked on the garage, laundry shelves and the grill. I worked on the craft cupboard and junk drawer. I had to take another trip to Walmart and Home Depot to finish gathering supplies at one point.

We did venture out to the Fortville Bastille Day celebration. It was a really cute little small town festival. I felt like I was in the movies! Unfortunately, the kids weren't in the best mood but it was a nice distraction. Tom finished out the day at the neighbor's fire and I finished it out in bed with a book!

Today, I didn't wake up until 10! I thought for sure I wouldn't sleep well after my long nap yesterday but I was wrong. I seriously had a rough and stressful week and did not sleep well at all. Now, I think I'm all caught up and ready to go. Tessa was the first of the kids to wake up at 9, so I guess I'm not the only one!

Today was spent finishing up projects. Tom fit in a 3 mile run with Josie on her bike and I went out for 7. It was a very long, very slow and very hot 7 miles, but I did it. I planned to run this evening but went out at 12:30 instead to just get it done. We also took the kids to the neighbor's pool and Tom took Josie fishing which included setting a trap for minnows and then a creek walk. They're still gone at 7PM. :) 

Here is a photo synopsis of our projects this weekend. I wish I had taken "before" photos! It was a successful weekend! :)

New shelves and bins in the laundry room!

Which allowed me to clear off the top of the dryer. :) 

And, the top and side of the freezer. One project we didn't finish? Repainting the enamel top table to the right of the freezer. We have the paint and big plans. :) 

One of these days, I really want to paint the laundry room some funky colors, get some cool decor and really finish it up. For now, at least it's organized!

Speaking of laundry, I managed to get it all done and it will be put away before bedtime - 

I will demand it!

Here are some shots of the garage. Again, I wish I had "before" shots.

My happiest spot I was able to organize is the craft cupboard. I unloaded the girls' backpacks (finally!) and pitched all of the broken crayons and eraser-less pencils. I organized and labeled school boxes and sharpened more pencils. Unfortunately, school starts all too soon and I wanted to make sure I was ready for homework and projects. I think I'm good! I also managed to pass along a bunch of coloring books and workbooks that the girls have outgrown. (This is a bad photo, but trust me, it looks awesome!)

Right above this cabinet is the junk drawer. I spent a little money on organizers and I'm pretty happy with the resulting junk drawer. 

One area that I did not make it to this weekend is the girls' school papers. I wanted the girls to work on their summer packets but we couldn't find Tessa's. So, right now, all of their stuff is on the guest room bed. I guess I have this week's project!

All in all? A great weekend. We needed it. As I've said, it was a stressful week after vacation and I'm sure next week will be no different. Or, maybe it will be better. I hope so. I am very happy for the weekend respite from the crazy weekday grind.